One Day at the Gates © 2000 David Roth

St. Peter perusing the old Pearly Gates

Working the swing shift, Two Thousand and Eight

It was slow for a Monday, five minutes to nine

There were only two spirits in line

The first began knocking, St. Peter said “Come

Tell me what did you do down on Earth there my son?”

“I was a preacher, my word was the Lord’s

And I lectured for decades how God I adored...”

“Come on right in friend,  you’re most welcome here

We’ve built you a cabin just off to the rear

And when you’ve settled in here’s a coupon that’s good

For a nice cotton robe and a staff made of wood.”

So then came the second, a short balding man

With an old blue beret and two wrinkled old hands

St. Peter began with his questions again

“Tell me, what did you do in the world of men...and women?”

“For the last thirty years sir, I drove a big cab

On the streets of Manhattan, I’d zoom and I’d gab”

St. Peter said “Sir, you need say nothing more...”

And quite quickly relinquished the keys to the door

Come on right in friend, you don’t have to wait

We’ve built you a palace right by the front the gate

With a big fireplace so you’ll never get cold

And a set of silk suits and a staff made of gold.”

But the preacher who’d gone in before him caught word

Of this opulent dwelling and then when he heard

Of the difference in garments and staves, he was furious

Perplexed and bewildered and partially...curious

“Tell me why does this chauffeur get all these fine gifts here

When I served the Lord and all he did was shift gears?”

And here was the reply that St. Peter made

“When you preached, people slept

When he drove, people prayed!”