Hank and Hymie © 2002 David Roth and Greg Tamblyn

Hank and Hymie, unemployed

Laid off in La Verkin

Stood in line to get the dole

Because they were not workin’

Hank was first up to the desk

The clerk began his query

“What was your last job” he asked

“And why d’you look so weary?”

You’d look weary too my friend

And both you’re hands be hurtin’

If elastic into women’s drawers

You’d spent your life insertin’

The clerk began to check his list

Insertion of elastic

Two hundred bucks a week you’ll get

Hank said “that’s fantastic!”

Now Hymie’s turn, he stepped right up

A mild case of jitters

When asked about his last employ

With pride said “Diesel Fitter”

Diesel fitter, here we go

It says four hundred dollars

Hymie blushed, his face aglow

But Hank began to holler

This isn’t fair, for forty years

I stood right there beside him

So why should he get twice as much

For doing much what I did

The clerk said I thought you put rubber bands

Inside the undies

And he fit diesels all that time

How’s that the same, I’m wondering?

Well I’d insert those stretchy straps

Hard work, but I’m no quitter

Then I’d hand the shorts to Hymie, he’d say

“Dese’ll fit her”