Gush or Bore © 2000 David Roth

I won’t say who I voted for, or even if ‘twas Gush or Bore

Nader or Buchanan or that natural party person

But I knew things were boding badly when they beat my boy Bill Bradley

And now we’ve gone from worse to even worsen...

On one hand we’ve a whiner who is prone to groan and grunt, it’s true

While disagreeing in debate, this practice did perplex us

And then we have the other one, a good ol' boy, his daddy’s son

We can’t expect too much when he has trouble running Texas

Americans from coast to coast have chosen whom they like the most

The voting has all come and gone and now we need a breather

The count is in, the tally’s done, at least the first and second one

The clear cut winner of the day is...neither

That’s the truth, no matter who you chose to win

There’s just about precisely one more person who had picked some other way

Not exactly what I’d call a mandate from the people

We had a really hard Election Day

I love this country yes I do, there’s freedom in red white and blue             

But colleges that don’t exist I do not get a kick from

With all the brilliant minds we’ve got, it doesn’t really say a lot

When these two are what’s left for us to pick from

How ‘bout a teacher or a chef, a social worker, someone deaf

A farmer or some clergy, or an actor

No, we tried that

A secretary or a nurse, it’s no so bad, it could be worse

A songwriter for president, would someone certify that?

Just anyone with common sense, not straddling some middle fence

With courage and conviction, some compassion and some solace

Maybe all those absentees in Florida will count them please

Or maybe we’ll ask Mickey Mouse or Elian Gonzalez

We've had a really hard election, strong and stiff, with no protection

Lawyers paratrooping into every Florida city

It’s clear we can’t find one we like, would both of you please take a hike

We’ll run our own darn country by committee!

Another thought, perhaps the best thing

Inaugurate the cast of West Wing